1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

Became a mother of two boys. I lost a total of 95 pounds in 9 months. Trust me, I did not have a set goal time, I just had the idea of starting out slow, like running a 5K, 5 months postpartum and going from there. That 5K was equal parts super uncomfortable and great, btw. Becoming as active as I was at most healthiest (not drinking or eating poorly) and then giving a little more effort than that. This year came with a lot of growth, for my family and personally. It came away with a lot more peace and a clear sky finally emerged from a storm that had been hanging around for a long time. I also ran a total of 300 miles in 6 months. I went and fell in love with St. George, UT/Zion National Park. I also went to California, which I enjoyed as well. 

 2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

My 2011 resolutions probably went a little bit like: God, school just sucks, the people around me, suck. Blah, blah blah. A little on the negative side. I wanted to find all these new things, job, career (perhaps my nesting instincts bled a little into that). But as far as that goes, a lot of that has changed. I’m pretty content with being a mother, transition into motherhood pretty much complete. Having what I have, and knowing and liking, what I do not. It took some mistakes, large and small to get here. It also took a break from bad habits. So maybe I didn’t go to Europe and have all kinds of adventures, but I had a lot of great things happen within and close by. 

So in leu of that, I will give you my 2012 resolutions!

1.  Finish my two degrees already-about DAMN TIME!
2.  Get over those little jitters of having those two initials at the end of my name. 
3.  Being positive. Staying positive. You know how to manage it? You cut off whatever gets in the way of that. 
4. Save more. We’ve made great progress with our debt, even scraping by with one income, and getting closer to finding our home.
5. Dare I say, New York Marathon??? Or A marathon. 
6. Incorporate more strength/circuit training. Don’t have weight/size goals. See #5. 
7. At times of stress, do not take it out on J. 
8. Continue to not read the news a whole lot if it leads to cynicism and fear. 
9. Don’t lose what I’ve gained so far for arbitrary things. 
10. Sleep better.

 3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Myself. And my 11 month old is still a little meatball whose just beginning to show his teeth, personality and his walk. I love him so so soo much.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No.

5. What countries did you visit?

Babies Up at 4 am Land. Braggity brag that one.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

Good coffee in my kitchen. Some shoes that didn’t give me runner’s toes. But I can’t complain. 

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

February 10, 2011. My son’s birth. It was difficult after I had him. I had a bad reaction to the anesthesia and insomnia while recovering from my C-section. Not a good combo, ladies. It was bad. Like, they don’t even tell you how bad it gets at all in the books or websites, bad. Husband passes out while I’m having my first panic attack, bad. Alright, I’ll shut up about that. It was one of the best days of my life.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Being a mother of two boys under two, being more at peace.

9. What was your biggest failure?

My biggest failure has to be not having enough patience..Things have to be a certain way, but I’m learning to let go.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Besides having my uterus sliced open, I also acquainted myself with runner’s toes. Google it, or better yet, don’t. I haven’t had any horrible, prolong muscle or joint pains yet. Nor any other ailments. 

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Little things that kept me sane or feel like a woman, whether it was some nail polish or gloss. Also, a family gym membership.

12. Where did most of your money go?

Our home, baby formula, baby food, baby clothes, and coffee.

13. What did you get really excited about?

I was really excited about spending my days with my babies, taking a break from all the negative b.s. in my life. Eliminate that and stress.. don’t drink, and exercise. It’s a whole lot cheaper than having a therapist or spending money on becoming a psychiatrist’s guinea pig.

14. What song will always remind you of 2011?

Vampire Weekend’s “Cape Kwassa Kwassa”. The first few notes of this song and my sons automatically stop crying. Yes, both. And they sing to it. Send me more, or send me Paul Simon. Please and thank you.

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:

– happier or sadder? Very much happier. Good riddance to bouncing hormones. Having babies has somehow balanced myself out physically and emotionally, and kept me focused. I have some bad moments but nothing that makes my hands tied like it used to. It’s gotten a lot easier for me to say, “Eff off” to people who shouldn’t matter in the first place. 
– thinner or fatter? Thinner. 
– richer or poorer? Financially better off.

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?
More creative things. Painting. Creating. Strength training.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Less festering. 

18. How did you spend Christmas?

Perfectly, with my little family.

19. What was your favorite TV program?

Breaking Bad and American Horror Story were the only shows I really paid attention to. Well, I also watched Beavis and Butthead. For their social commentary. Uhh huh huh huh huh. 

20. What were your favorite books of the year?

Divergent. I read a few books but nothing really stood out.

21. What was your favorite music from this year?
I enjoyed more songs than bands, really.

22. What were your favorite films of the year?

Bridesmaids. If you didn’t get this humor or are too snotty to, we just cannot be friends. I didn’t go to the movies that much this year. I did enjoy watching “Nightmare on Elm Street” outside at the Enzian Theater at night around Halloween, and saw “Big Trouble in Little China” there too. 

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I was about to have my son Magnus, and I turned 30. 

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Nothing really. I took off work. I focused on being a mother and put thought into other things I wanted to do. I went to school until May 2011. I think reconnecting with good friends and finding new ones would have made my year better. Being a new mother can be isolating, and often bombarded by people whose purpose is to make you feel incapable or inadequate. There is irony in that. But like I said, I’m pretty much at peace. 

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

This question is not abysmally stupid. I enjoy fashion to an extent and finally being able to wear clothes that aren’t covering me up is something I don’t take for granted. Being pregnant for two years, being called fat or treated less than a person because of it, well. You get the rest. I don’t wear clothes to look like everyone else or label whore myself as a status on my arm. It’s an extension of myself. Yes, even when I’m wearing tights with shorts.

26. What kept you sane?

My husband. My children. My mom. They both also drove me batty, but those times were all lessons. A lot of which were how I or other react to situations. Also, two babies at a restaurant? Oh, we’ll never learn that one! But we also enjoy everything, good, bad, exciting, monotonous… Running and working out helped. Realizing what matters the most made the most difference. I figured this a pretty hard way, but at least I made it. I’m a better mother and wife for it. It’s probably my best achievement this year, like I said, finding peace. And those people I just listed are my support. I’m also happy that the whole parenting/career dilemma isn’t brimming with guilt. I’m not beating myself up for not having some Ph.D and narcissistically believing I can sway minds or having trouble feeling the t.v. is their nanny. I’m going back to work on the weekends, but it’s a little sacrifice and knowing my kids are with their father and not in daycare, at least for a few years. 

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

Sometimes you have to set aside somethings to find resolve in others. It takes time and hard work, and it damn near broke me. But I always knew I was progressing, even in my darkest times. Each day for the last few years inched me get to the right destination. I’ve had the best person who never left my side. So many ill feelings are behind me. And yes, some of the cheesy cliches are true. And I am lucky. I can really say that, without a doubt.