rurorjuror.

It’s going to be ok.

I’m going to be ok.

I can do this. - Jon Armstrong

http://blurbomat.com/2012/02/29/firsts/

I’m making every effort to be civil and courteous. 

I am so glad he’s doing that for her, despite everything. 

Civil and courteous. It’s been hard. He hasn’t been and well, being one that doesn’t want it, I haven’t just been sure, ok, let’s do this.  

Since Friday, I’ve taken care of the kids on my own. They’ve been wonderful. Few tantrums, and being a parent has gotten easier. But it’s hard that this will no longer be our home. I close the bathroom door and sit on the tile sometimes and cry it out. It’s hard to know that my husband has already made arrangements or at least thought of them, and wants it to go that way, yet amicably..There’s my knee-jerk reactions, because I haven’t had much time as he to go about thinking of how I’m going to live my life as a single person. This separation came swiftly, just days ago. And like that, I’ve begun to see things as they are, and now I am going to accept it. Life just changed. The no-answering, the wondering, mental anguish, and still keeping things together. The unreal shock of it is wearing off and in it’s place, getting on with life. It’s also going to get better. I have some big exams to take on this week after being away from school for a year to take care of my kids. It’s taken every morsel of my energy to just focus. This time is for me, to move forward and work on myself.